3 Guys, 2 Girls, And A Skittish Notebook
by Satya Kaden
Summary: Written by Bea and myself. Three IaHb characters come to visit a couple of frustrated fanfiction writers. Chaos ensues.


Disclaimer- We don't own em, and our plans to go to Canada sorta fell through....we'll get there yet!   
  
Arcadia lay on her stomach on the bed. "So what are we gonna do?"   
"Ya got me." BE-A-TLE replied from her seat in the velvet air chair. "I'm strapped for ideas still." A light rapping at the door forced Arcadia up from her comfortable position. Opening the door she was startled to find Jamie, Hank, and Tyler standing there.   
"You've never come to see me before." She stated as she climbed back onto her bed.   
"Yeah well...you haven't been working like you could be." Hank said softly.   
"BEA?!" Tyler exclaimed, glancing in her direction.   
"Hi guys."   
"What on earth did you do to your hair?!" BE-A-TLE's hand flew to her head.   
"It looks fine!" Arcadia shot back.   
"But why?!" Tyler exclaimed.   
"Stop!" BE-A-TLE whined a high hitch in her voice, Arcadia cringed.   
"Please don't make her make that noise." she pleaded.   
"But since you're here, we can bug you too!" Jamie piped in.   
"No way! You bugged me the other day!" BE-A-TLE protested. Arcadia smirked as BE-A-TLE tried to climb out of her chair.   
"But anyway!" Hank replied, taking the conversation back. "We're here cause we're wondering what's going on...."   
"Hank, ya know I tolerate you, but what are you talking about?" BE-A-TLE asked, a look of annoyance on her face as Tyler idly flipped her hair.

Tyler sighed and glanced between Bea and Arcadia.  He looked at them as if they were children with low powers of understanding even the easiest of ideas.

"Arcadia?"  He asked in a patient voice that parents use when dealing with very annoying small children.  "Why haven't you written anything lately?"

Arcadia glanced at Bea and lowered her head in shame.  She had just been telling Bea how she had not written anything in a while.  But, jeez, she had never expected anyone to come and complain!

'She's been busy," Bea said through gritted teeth.  She clenched her fists and watched as Tyler's eyes went wide.  No one messed with Bea's ff.net friends, especially not some preppy know-it-all like Tyler.  "Watch it Connell," she warned quietly.  "I popped you one before and I'll do it again."

Tyler propped up his fists and danced on the balls of his feet.  Sure, in his mind, he looked like a cross between Bruce Willis and Jackie Chan.  But, to Bea, he looked more like a dancing clown from the circus.  I'll show her who is boss, Tyler thought in his mind.  Bea simply raised one eyebrow and then glanced at Arcadia as if to ask, is this guy for real?  

Sensing a black eye coming on for Tyler, Arcadia jumped off the bed quickly and placed herself between the two ready fighters.  "Hey!"  She yelled.  "No bloodshed on the carpet!"

From his position near the door, Jamie snickered.

"Yeah guys, no fighting," Hank agreed and then sat down on the bed.  "We were just wondering how long it would take before you would write again."

"Yeah," Tyler added.  "I mean, what is going to happen next in your fic?"

Arcadia narrowed her eyes.  As a diehard Bleacherjunkie, she was having a real hard time dealing with this kid.  He was really starting to get on her nerves.  "Wouldn't you like to know what happens next!"  She said, annoyed to the extreme.

"Um," Jamie said as he looked at Arcadia curiously.  "You have no idea what happens next, do you?"

It was a simple enough question and Arcadia really could have lied.  But, the truth was, she had no idea what she was going to happen with her fic.

"Nope," she said quietly.

"its not really any of your business anyway!" BE-A-TLE snapped, sensing her friend's discomfort.   
"You really shouldn't talk, you're way worse than she is when it comes to leaving things hanging." Tyler snapped. Bea rolled her eyes.   
"He's got a point." Hank replied gently. "I mean, you sorta left us hanging in several stories."   
"Well sorree." Bea snapped. "I'm stuck for ideas." BE-A-TLE flopped back into the chair.   
"Look, we're not trying to bug you guys..." Jamie began.   
"A little late now." BE-A-TLE muttered.   
"But," Jamie went on, ignoring her "You have to see where we're coming from here."   
"Yes, I can see where your coming from." Arcadia said, hanging her head again.   
"You have to see where we're coming from too." BE-A-TLE spoke up. "If we're stuck with ideas, we can't just wave a magic wand and have ideas again. I don't like leaving you hanging anymore than you liked being left." Tyler snorted and pushed his foot against the side of the air chair, unknowing of the redistribution of the air. BE-A-TLE in turn, bounced right out of the chair and onto the floor. Her cry of pain and surprise brought Arcadia to the floor with her.   
"You idiot!" She yelped at Tyler.   
"Ow, that friggin hurt!" BE-A-TLE protested, struggling to get up. Arcadia helped haul her to her feet.   
"You absolute moron!" Arcadia couldn't believe he was that dense. "Bea, if you wanna beat the hell out of him, I won't stand in your way this time."   
"That last time was a lucky shot!" Tyler insisted. Jamie snorted and Hank shook his head. "And with all the crap she put us through, she had that coming!" Arcadia whirled on her heals and stared at him.   
"What did you just say?" she asked in a dangerous voice. BE-A-T:E had never heard that tone of voice before, but she knew it wouldn't be good.

The room was dead silent.  Everyone had their eyes fixed on Arcadia and Tyler, wondering what would happen next.  Would Arcadia deny her earlier statement of 'no bloodshed on the carpet' and beat the stuffing out of Tyler?  Would Tyler cry like a little girl?  That, of course, seemed to be the prominent question on everyone's mind.

Bea leaned over to Hank.  "Twenty bucks says she can make him cry."

Hank simply shook his head.  There was no way he was going to bet against a friend, especially when Hank didn't have twenty dollars to lose. 

 Hank looked at Arcadia.  She stood extremely still, her eyes on Tyler.  In her mind she went over every possible way to control anger that she had learned in high school health class.  She counted to ten silently.  But, that wasn't enough.  So, she counted to ten in French.  Still not enough.  She tried counting in Spanish.  But, one look at Tyler's face reminded her of his mean words and her anger at them.  Arcadia would have tried to count in German, but the only German word she knew was 'frau' and Arcadia was pretty sure that that didn't have anything to do with numbers.

Alrighty then, she thought, her eyes narrowing.  She attempted to make herself look taller than her rather short position at 5 foot 3.

"Okay, Mr. Pretty Boy," she started, pointing at Tyler.  "You listen up!  I would really like to crush you like the little bug that you are, but I can't because then every Tyler/Val fan out there would hate me.  So, you are safe. For now.  But, if you screw up once more, Bea and I will both take you down.

Tyler flinched.

"Or," Arcadia added, a look of pure devil in her eyes.  "I will just make you marry Heather in all of my fics and live with her for the rest of your life."

A collective gasp went through the room at Arcadia's last words.

"A fate wore than death," Jamie breathed.  

Bea snickered.  "That's a good idea, Arcadia."

"Now, Mr. Poster Child for Popularity," Arcadia said and Tyler flinched again.  "Apologize to Bea."

"You can threaten to beat me up, and you can try to do it...you can even make me marry Heather, but you an never make me apologize to _HER_!"   
"What?!" Arcadia hissed. "Apologize to her!"   
"When hell freezes over!" Tyler exclaimed defiantly.   
"Is your pride worth being married to Heather?!" Jamie hissed.   
"I would rather be married to Heather for the rest of my life, than apologize to a hell demon like her!" Tyler spat. BE-A-TLE blinked.   
"What did you call me?"   
"You heard me. You evil, cold hearted, hell demon!" A strange look came over BE-A-TLE's face.   
"I'm not cold-hearted." BE-A-TLE protested.   
"You very much are cold-hearted, and you deserve to be told so!" Tyler looked at her smugly, but his ecstatic look of victory quickly fell as a soft sobbing noise rose from the back of BE-A-TLE's throat. She turned and Arcadia quickly pulled her into a hug. Arcadia glared at Tyler.   
"How could you?!"   
"Tyler...you made her cry man!" Jamie cried, not sure what to do. Hank studied how Arcadia tried to calm BE-A-TLE down, she seemed genuinely upset.

 "Your not a hell demon." Arcadia soothed "And your certainly not cold hearted or evil." BE-A-TLE's cries were so pitiful that Tyler reached forward to try to apologize.  
 "Get out." BE-A-TLE said burying her face in Arcadia's shoulder. Hank moved   
forwards.   
"Bea....I'm sure Tyler didn't...."   
"Don't you dare defend him." Arcadia snapped. Jamie stepped forward and put a hand on BE-A-TLE's shoulder.   
"That was out of line Tyler." Jamie said simply.   
"Of all of us, you should be the angriest at her!" Tyler protested. Jamie simply shrugged.   
"I do get angry at her, but I've never made her cry." Tyler sighed.   
"Bea...I'm sorry." Arcadia pushed BE-A-TLE behind her.   
"God himself couldn't save you now." Arcadia hissed. Before she could do anything BE-A-TLE darted out from behind her.

Everything seemed to happen at once.  

Bea lunged at Tyler before anyone could move.  

"No!"  Arcadia screamed, thinking how hard it would be to get blood out of the carpet.  Why, oh why did I not get a wooden floor, she wondered vaguely.

Jamie and Hank backed up to the door, hoping to make a quick getaway if the girls turned on them too.

"I'll get you, you little……,"  Bea screamed as she threw herself at Tyler.  

Tyler took a cautionary step back, realizing that he was about to be hit by a body of pure fury.  He raised his hands in front of his chest in defense and shook his head vigorously.  He backed up another step and then another.  If he could just get out of Bea's reach……

"Wait, watch out behind you!"  Arcadia yelled over the din of Bea screaming not such nice things about Tyler's mom and all his other relatives.

Too late.

"Oh boy," Arcadia mumbled.

Tyler's foot stepped on the edge of the thick binder lying innocently on the floor.  The binder, being a rather skittish thing and not liking people's feet on it's cover, slipped a smidge, allowing Tyler to take on the impression of a human windmill.  Arms thrown out and swinging around, Tyler tried in vain to catch his balance.

"Whoa dude, he looks kind of like Shaggy from Scooby Doo when he does that," Jamie whispered to Hank.  Hank could only nod and watch the spectacle before him.

A casual observer might have thought that Tyler was trying to do a rather complicated dance and doing a poor job of it.  The truth of the matter was, of course, that he did look like Shaggy from Scooby Doo trying to run.

Bea stopped lunging and watched Tyler with a rather amused expression on her face.  She tried not to laugh out loud. After all, it was pretty obvious that Tyler was trying to keep his balance no matter what.  And Bea had to give him credit for trying.

Tyler whipped his arms out once more and knew deep down inside that he was fighting a losing battle.  He knew that his bum was going to fall to the floor no matter what he did.  If I fall down, he thought, Bea is going to kill me.  But, at this point did he really have a choice?  He was going to fall, whether he wanted to or not.  Who leaves thick skittish binders on the floor anyway, he wondered darkly.  

With a sound that could only truly be interpreted as a squeak, Tyler gave up and crashed to the floor.  

He groaned, knowing that he most likely landed on his tailbone and would be sore for a few days to come.  "Aww man," he mumbled and then readied himself to sit up.  But, he never made it that far. 

Bea let out a battle cry that Arcadia was pretty sure couldn't be reproduced, it was a cry all of her own, as she shot through the air and landed on Tyler. At the sound of her cry, Jamie and Hank had instinctively inched a little closer to the door. Her hands were on his shoulders, and she was sitting on his chest, Tyler knew he wasn't going anywhere unless BE-A-TLE took mercy on him. He looked up at her and saw her red eyes. He also saw rage.   
"Oh your gonna hurt me." Tyler said wincing. BE-A-TLE popped him on the side of the head.   
"Ow!"   
"Bea!" Arcadia rushed forward and literally pulled Bea off of him. "No blood on the carpet!"  

BE-A-TLE folded her arms in protest. "But-"   
"No." Arcadia gave her a look and BE-A-TLE sighed.   
"Thanks Arcadia.''   
"Don't thank me, if I had vinyl flooring you'd be all hers."

Tyler gulped.   
"All right, All right! This has gotten WAY out of hand!" Hank yelled.   
"All we did was come here to ask why you haven't written." Jamie said. "I think next time we come Tyler will have to stay at home!"   
"But-"   
"Shut up Tyler." Hank broke in. "Your the reason things got so out of hand to   
begin with."   
"She brings out the worse in me." Tyler grumbled.   
"Then why do you always go to visit her?" Arcadia demanded. Tyler opened his mouth to say reply, but nothing came out.

"I mean you've been there nearly every time....and I think I recall something about you spying on her...."   
"I- I did not!" Tyler sputtered. BE-A-TLE covered her mouth with her hand and   
started laughing.   
"Oh no?" Arcadia smiled smugly at him.

"Oh yeah," Arcadia said, devilishly.  "I know all about the time that you-"

"Hold it!"  Hank cried and everyone quieted immediately.  Hank just had that effect sometimes.  Being the leader of the group, he constantly was elected to play referee and now, it seemed this would be no different.  "Let's not air any dirty laundry here.  Tyler just keep your mouth shut for once."

Tyler's  jaw dropped and Bea grinned.  "It's about time that he has nothing to say," she mumbled.

Tyler, hearing Bea's words, glared at her.  But, then after catching a hard look from Hank and seeing Arcadia's hands clench into fists, he decided to be quiet.  He glanced at the floor.

"Okay, look everyone," Jamie started.  "All we want is for you guys to finish your fics.  I mean, how long will it take?"

Bea and Arcadia looked at each other.  How long would it take?

"Well, there's school starting soon…..and I've been working on other fics…..stuffs been crazy lately……fanfiction.net wasn't even working for a while……..," they mumbled, trying to come up with a good excuse that would give them ample time to work on all their stuff.

"They aren't ever going to finish them," Tyler mentioned, his eyes lifting to meet Arcadia's gaze.

She mouthed one word to him, which looked very much like it could have been 'Heather', and Tyler looked back down at the floor, his cheeks read.  Okay, so he really did think that being married to Heather in every fic was frightening.  But, he didn't want to admit it!

Jamie cleared his throat and everyone looked his way.  Casually, he leaned back against the wall behind him and smiled.  

"I know what will get you two to start writing again," he said. 

"Oh, and what's that oh great mystic?" BE-A-TLE asked. Jamie grinned and motioned her over. She rolled her eyes, glanced back at Arcadia, who gave her a slight push forward and she walked over. Jamie whispered something in her ear. BE-A-TLE's eyes grew wide, and she reached behind her, plucking up the first stuffed animal she could find and beamed him with it. He laughed and zipped out the door. No one was surprised when Bea chased him out. Aracida, Hank, and Tyler moved to the door to see what was going on. Jamie was running down the hall, and BE-A-TLE let out another cry, that Arcadia became convinced only Bea was capable of making, and slammed against Jamie's back.   
"How'd she holler like that? I'd assume her throat would bleed." Tyler murmured. 

Jamie let out a yelp of surprise as he fell to the ground. He rolled onto his back and swept his leg around. BE-A-TLE let out a squeak as she went crashing down beside him. Hank and Arcadia exchanged glances. They both were thinking the same thing. What was gonna happen now? Jamie got to his feet first, and BE-A-TLE scrambled up beside him. She lunged at him and he caught her wrist, spinning her inwards, pinning her against his chest. With her arms crossed over her chest there was little she could do to hit him. She swiftly kicked back, hitting him in the shin.   
"OW"! Jamie hollered, falling forward slightly and releasing her grip. He reached forward and grabbed her around the waist, and threw her on the floor beside him. The two shot up and before Bea could react, Jamie grabbed her and flipped her over his shoulder.   
"Put me down!" BE-A-TLE protested.   
"Guys, all we wanted to do was find out why you haven't been writing, and things just got totally out of hand!" Hank protested, watching as BE-A-TLE repeatedly hit Jamie's back. Jamie tightened his grip around her legs. Arcadia sighed and began to speak.

"Alright!" she said exasperated.  She thought back to just a short time ago when she and Bea had been sitting quietly in her room.  And then the three guys had showed up and changed everything.  Now, in the course of a short time Tyler had insulted Bea, Bea had attacked Tyler, Arcadia's binder had been stepped on and now Jamie was carrying Bea around like he was a caveman.  So much violence!

"I will write…something… if you guys just get the heck out of here," she said.  

Jamie grinned like a fool and slowly placed Bea back on her feet.  Bea glared at his back as he walked the short couple of steps to stand next to Hank.  Hank sighed and smiled at Arcadia.  It looked like things were going to get back into place after all.

Behind Arcadia, Tyler laughed.  "You guys won't write anything.  I know you guys.  You'll just ignore us as soon as we're out that door."

"Tyler, shut up," Arcadia said so softly that only Hank heard her.

Tyler sneered at Bea and Arcadia.  "There are a heck of a lot of other fanfiction writers out there who will give us more attention than you guys do.  We'll just go visit them."

"Good!  Do that!"  Bea yelled.  "Leave us alone!"

"Tyler, shut up," Arcadia said again, her voice as soft as it had been before.  Hank glanced at her worriedly, thinking that perhaps his friend had finally stepped over the line.  There was just something in the fic writer's voice.  A little catch that told Hank perhaps Tyler was treading on very sensitive ground.

"And you," Tyler said, rounding on Arcadia, "you shouldn't even be writing fanfiction for us at all.  You don't belong there."

"Whoa," Jamie said, taking a step forward.  "Tyler, that was way out of line."

Hank watched as one single tear made its way down Arcadia's cheek.  He watched as she gritted her teeth and her right hand squeezed together into a fist.  Sensitive ground, indeed.

"It's true," Tyler continued.  "Didn't that one girl say she her writing was juvenile?"  He looked over at Arcadia smugly.

Bea shook her head and took a menacing step forward.  'So what!   Arcadia knows that the girl wasn't right!  And that was a while ago anyway."  She looked at her friend, hoping to see the fire of humor in Arcadia's eyes.  But, she simply saw Arcadia's hard gaze on the floor.

Tyler's smile grew.  "But it still bugs her, doesn't it Arcadia?"

She looked up at him and their gazes locked.  Her light blue eyes bore holes into him, tears welling up inside of them.  "Doesn't it still bother you?"  He asked her.  "I mean, it would bother me if I found out that I totally sucked at something."

Arcadia shook her head, the tears coming more readily now.  Her hand clenched and unclenched as Tyler's words sunk deeper into her mind.  

"Doesn't it still bother you?"  Tyler asked again, marveling how much he was bothering the girl with mere words.  Then he turned towards Hank.  "I'll bet it eats away at her, making her second guess everything she has ever written."

Suddenly, a fist rang out and shot Tyler neatly in the jaw.  With a squeak of pain, he fell to the floor.  Everyone looked at Arcadia in surprise and she looked down at her fists that were still by her sides.  They hadn't moved- she hadn't been the one to hit Tyler.

Hank looked at Bea, who stared back at him defiantly.  "Wasn't me," she said simply and then she, Hank, and Arcadia all looked at Jamie.

He grinned sheepishly and then looked down to he floor where Tyler was holding his jaw and swearing like a madman.  "Well," Jamie started as he glanced back at the three pairs of surprised eyes on him.  "He was pissing me off." 

Arcadia grinned, the tears no longer in her eyes.  "And that, my friends, is why I am a bleacher junkie."

Hank stifled a chuckle and then helped Tyler get to his feet.  Tyler's hand was still on his jaw, and he moved his jaw around slowly.  "God, I think he broke my jaw.  It hurts!"

Jamie raised one eyebrow and glanced at Bea and Arcadia.  There was no way he had broken Tyler's jaw.  Bea tried unsuccessfully to stifle a laugh.  Tyler sent her a dirty look and then looked pleadingly at Hank.

"Hank…..," he said, knowing that his closest friend would take pity on him.

Hank knelt down next to Tyler and moved his right hand up to Tyler's jaw.  His fingers touched Tyler's skin and prodded the bone underneath.  "Nothing is broken, probably just bruised."

Tyler shook his head in frustration, sure the little stars that had been dancing in front of his eyes should have disappeared by then.

"But, it hurts!"  He insisted, glaring daggers at Jamie.  

A quiet voice suddenly whispered, "wimp," and everyone turned to look at Bea.  "What?"  She asked, looking way too innocent.

Tyler jumped to his feet.  A little unsteady at first (darn those stars still circling his head!), he took one step forward  and then stopped.  His brow was furrowed, his eyes cold with anger.  "That's it!"  He shouted.  "I'm going back to hang out with the Tyler/Val shippers.  _They_ love me!" 

"Good!  Go!"  The quiet voice said and everyone turned to look at Bea_.  _"_What_?!?!"  She asked again.

Tyler turned around in disgust and disappeared.  Arcadia and Bea shifted their glances towards Jamie and Hank, the two remaining characters.

"We should probably be going too," Hank said.  "But, you guys will try to write more, right?"

Bea and Arcadia both nodded.  They liked Hank; he was cool.  Tyler- they had a bit of a dislike for.  But, Hank and Jamie were cool.

'Yeah, we'll try," Bea said smiling.

"And don't forget what I told you," Jamie said to Bea.  Then he winked. 

Arcadia looked at the two conspirators confused, but Bea just snickered.  "I won't," Bea said in the same quiet voice she had used just seconds ago with Tyler.

Jamie and Hank turned around as if to walk back to Arcadia's room.  Then they disappeared.

"Well," Arcadia started slowly after a couple seconds of silence.  "That was……….weird."

Bea nodded, thinking how she still would have liked to kick Tyler's butt.  Just one time.  That's all she needed.  Just once.  

"They'll be back," she said vaguely.  And they would be.  She knew it.  How many times had they visited her?

"By the way," Arcadia started as the two started walking back to her room, intent on working on their fics.  "What exactly id Jamie whisper in your ear?"

Bea grinned and Arcadia could see the devil in her eyes.  "I'll never tell," she said slyly.

Then the two fanfiction writers went to work on their fics.

The End


End file.
